my love i mean [ex] LoVe =]

we been through a lot ups downs smiles nd frown happy tears nd sad ones,the love of my life was hopin she would be my future wife..bt all good things come to and end nd she was my good thing..she made me feel real special all the time even when i pissed her off she showed me how much she loved me nd i still love her for tht she taught me how to love forreal..my real first love my real first heartbreak all tht im not mad at her shit i love her to much to stay mad..she's every man dream she's still my dream..i tlk to her everyday nd we might argue the whole time bt we still gone say i love you after all the cussin..lol...thts how we kno its forreal..we not together nomore bt i still love her wit all my heart aint no girl ever gone take her place in my heart i dnt think it possible..we have so many laughs we shared so many tears she been in my life for 10 months the longest 10 months ever..lol..she always gone be my bby hopefully god gives us another chance with each other in the future if not thank u for bringer to me period she showed me feelins i didnt even kno i had real tlk..lol..i use to be like damn this girl got me droppin tears..lol..bt i guess thts love huh..lol its crazy bt yea thts my love ;]..love u bby 4 ever..naw longer than tht ..

=]

sup yall
as yall can see my life is full of drama huh
bt its calmin down now bc i think i got my shit in order now..lol
yall kno i love my ex bt im gettin over it more nd more evryday
we will still always be friends bt im movin on she happy nd i am now too.....

anywayz me my lil womp womp[bby mama] we good now we on good terms she givin me my time even if the time is wit her bein here wit me still all the time shit take yo ass home..lol..im jp i lover her company;]..lol..anywayz im outta here wit a smile..

its always sumthn....

her:im leavin on the 4th
me:ok where u goin
her:arizona
me:ok thts koo when u commin bak
her:im not
me:the fuck
me :wht u mean u not
her:im stayin out there
me:come over
her:no for wht..aint nuthin out here for me james
me:so u jus leave bc u mad
her:u can think tht.im goin out there find a place nd place nd raise my bby
me:yo byy
me:bluhd thts my bby too wht u expect me to do follow yo ass out there
her:idc wht u do im leavin with or without u
me:im on my way
her:im not home
me:u so fckin stupid man i swear..whts wrong wit u
her:no u fukn stupid im tired james its like one day u got me thinkin sumthin nd the next its like w.e fuk me
me:wtf are u tlkin about we was jus koo shay ..why are u doin this ..wht do u want frm me
her:you
me:where u at shay
her:i dnt wanna see u
her:im in love wit you james nd u kno tht nd i kno u feel the same way nd u jus scarred
me:i dnt kno nuthin thts the first i ever heard tht..why are u trynna tell me how i feel
her:because i kno you..i can tell when we hug when u lay wit ..i jus kno..tell me u not
me:bye shay
her:thts wht i thought

today was better

today was a good day had no work went to the beach wit my bbymama i mean shay she dnt like the word bby mama..lol.bt it was the first time in a couple days tht i actually smiled nd laughed ina couple days had a real heart to heart convo about everything past present nd future a lot to think about...bt yea went to the doctor today she's 3 months hopefully we'll kno wht it is next month hopefully its my lil boy kinda excited to have a lil me ya kno ..bt i gotta go yall time to eat nd get ready for work tomorrow ..nd oh yea instead of sept 1st im movin aug 1st...=]

everybody gets a heartbreak

i guess it jus wasnt meant to be no matter how bad i wanted it....bt im jus mad bc i feel like i was jus there to keep her occupied until he decided to come back bt i guess thts jus how shit goes huh shes moved on and happy so i guess i gotta brush it off nd do the same bt its not gone be as easy at it seemed to be for her bc i was i mean im still really in love nd dnt kno when its gone go away it hurts so much to kno it was tht easy to jus jump back in a relationship wit him fist love or not it dnt matter...i tried to give her all i could all my love i gave her my heart nd she still has it i really can feel my broken heart..i layed back tht night and jus wondered why and how could she do me like tht after all we been through and for her to always tell me how much she loved me all the time..i dnt think it was a lie bt i dnt think it was as genuine as she made it seem..bt tlkin about this jus makes me sad furious nd hurt at the same time..i guess i gotta try to move on nd let it burn.

3 really is the new 2..lmao

imma muthafuckka i swear..lol

i guess ill meet you in another lifetime

yea yall i fell in lovelike the sucker tht i am bt it was the wrong time for you bt it was the best time for me i really wanted u to be ready for me bt i guess yur not and i cant do nuthin bt accept bt...imher like crazzzyy..bt ill be ight ..and she will to i hope everything works out for the best for both of us i wish we could still be friends bt i kno i cant..jus like u told me once before u cant jus be frinds wit someone yur in love wit ..and tht was true .....bt i guess ill meet in another lifetime ...ilymama ;}

=/

mannn im at werk not really focused

my mind is else where.......

man its like i want everything to be jus right 

not trynna move too fast.....

bt its hard not too when u have somethin so perfect in front of you...

i kno this girl is wht i need 

i kno she can put a smile n my face

bt i also kno tht her head is not right yet

and i want it to be so bad...

bt i think thts the problem wit me ..i expect to much

i want her to want me as much as i want her.....bt i dnt think thts possible right now

so i guess until it is imma have to fall bck fer a while...as much as i dnt want to 

i have too ...bc i care about her so much..and all i want is fer her is to be happy 

so if u dnt talk to me today dnt take it personal im givin u the space tht i think u need right now and trust thts gone be hard bc it has become a habit fer me to tlk to u every night frm 7:30 to 3:30 =]....bt jus kno imma wait fer u ..to get all of you back frm him.bc i dnt want half of you or parts of you ..im selfish i want it all..mind ,body ,soul and heart..and i will wait how ever long it takes to get it .....i kno im seetin myself myself up to possibly to get hurt bt i cant help it now its too late im open.....

and oh yea september 9th 2oo8 was the day we met ;]

BitChez Iz SiLLy

welllll......

let me interest yall in this dumb ass ex tht i got...

her ol stupid ass on myspace trynna tlk shit about me on anutha nigga comments..lmao
like wtf..how old are we?..bt if u gone do some shit like tht make sure i cant see it next time
and then hlaf the shit she was sayin was fckin lies..lol

first of all she told the nigga she left me ....which is a fckin lie..lol
she told him i hit her up everyday buggin her..which is a fckin lie..lol
then she said how she wanna get a nigga to beat me up..lmao..i wish the fck she would..lol
lol..but why the fuck do u have to lie to make conversation??
bt the funny thing is ...a hour before before i seen it she was jus tellin me how much she love and how much she wanna get back together..smh...
then on top of all tht the nigga she was tlkin to didnt even look better than me ..stupid ass

u have to be one of the stupiest muthafukkaz i kno ..aint nobody gone want yo ghetto insecure ass anyways bc u act like a lil ass kid and love to argue,,lol.bt i tried to be the bigger person and still be friends..bt fck all dat her ass took my kindness for weakness....lol

then she gone tell me she been doin her since new years ..this is after i cussed her out
ha!!! too bad idgaf...u must not kno bout me..lol

bt anywayz im done writtin bout her trifflin ass =]

The Parade!!! GiRlZ Are Crzy

so i went to the parade today right..lol

it was koo bt it jus got hot outta nowhere like got damn a nigga neck was burnin and shit..lol

but anywayz it was lot a females up there lookin ind of right 

bt you kno it was the dusty ones always trynna get mad when u aint trynna fck wit em

bt the cold thing about it is tht i was went wit a female already......

so i went to the restroom right this girl watched me leave the girl i was wit 

came o the restroom when i got out she was standing outside the rest room..lol

her ass was forward than a muthafukka..and was jus like whts up wit....so im single 

so i was talkin to her bt the girl i was wit peeped it and was jus starin so out of the respect i have ..i end tht convo ..and go back to who i was wit but i was kinda mad tho kuhz i didnt get her number but i had a feelin i was gone run bck into her..lol..

so its was over and me and the girl i went wit was walkin back to the car ..and i see her ..

she was parked 2 spaces away from me ...so she came up[ to the car not givin a fuck 

and was like heres my number and my aim since u single get at me ....lmao

but dnt forget i got a girl sittin next to me in the passenger seat...lmao..smh..

GirLz Are CraZy...lmao

IM SicK As FuCk

like damn..

how did i just wake up like this man fuck

im so fckin sick im loosin my voice

and thats not even the worse part i dont have nobody here to take care of me =[

i wonder why...........

ugh man i dont even have nuthin else to say ......

My TwiiN =]

my twin popps kuhh she's like the only female thts on my good side right about now..lol

man on some real shit ..i havent went a day without tlkin to her since...shit iono..lol

bt she always got a nigga bck and we tlk about everything and when i need her advice she gives it to me straight no chasser..lol

but anywayz yea iLykuhh =]

The Old Me Is Dead And Gone .

well yea this is my first entry right..lol

so yea but anywayz im james 

bt anywho..lol..im sittin here right now right

suppose to be at the movies bt i wasnt feelin it tonight 

i rather smoke blunts and drink ..thts jus the kind of mood im in ..lol

but im jus sittin here thinkin right ..

like why the fck do i get in these fucked up relationships ..lol

like it never fails tho..it goes good for the first couple months then 

muthafukkaz wanna act stupid..

like why do bitchez complain about not never 

havin a good nigga and how niggas aint shit..yall wanna kno why..

bc yall aint shit thts why..kuhz when yall got a good nigga yall wanna test him

jus to see wht yall can and cant get away wit ..and tht shit aint poppin 

but yall gone learn tho ..bc thts why so many niggas cheat bc when they try to be faithful 

bitchez wanna take us for granted bc they think the love we got for yall gone make us stay 

bt it on ly so much a nigga will tolerate ....then yall make us go back to our hoeish ways ..lol

bc right now thts where im headed...

im tired of bein the nice guy tht gives a fck about everybody feelins bt then they dont give a fck bout minez ....so now muthafukkaz gone be like "damn james why u act like tht now" and imma say because" THE OLD ME IS DEAD AND GONE"yea and people tht kno me can tell idgaf nomore bc i didnt use to call girls bitches ..psshh..bt now yall bitchez to me ..untill one comes and proves me wrong tht yall not all the same ........